Red Flags and Broken Bottles.

So, you are the only one that can calm him down when he is angry… hmm… I worry for you. 

Let me share this short story...

Many years ago, I attended a lesson in preparation for my Jamb exams, an important exam that would help me in gaining admission into the university. I was just a teenager.

In my lessons, there was a popular boy all the girls admired. He was rich and good looking. He had his group of boys that rolled with him. He was the leading guy in the lesson. Despite his wealthy background, I never paid him much attention. A popular girl claimed him as her boyfriend, and she would do what she can to calm him when he gets stressed and she would get him food when he needed it but they often disrupted the class because it looked like she was forcing herself on him.

One day, he started asking me for study help, and eventually, he asked me out. He insisted he wasn't dating the girl, but I refused to get involved.

One day, a loud commotion broke out, and I found him angrily holding a broken bottle and yelling at the girl, accusing her of crossing boundaries and slapping him. Apparently, she had accused him of cheating and he got pissed. His friends had to ask me to help calm him down as he wasn’t responding to any of their words. I hesitated but I managed to get up from my seat. Seeing me calmed him down, but I was shocked by his aggressive behavior.

He later apologized, blaming his anger, he kept saying that’s why he doesn’t like being provoked. I told him to learn to control his emotions and then I avoided him afterward because, if he could do that to the lady, his calming person, imagine what he would do to another? I had to run for my dear life.

He tried to win me over with gifts, even kneeling outside my house, but I saw the red flags and kept my distance. We stayed friends for a while, and I kept advising him on the importance of managing his anger and how he could do it. I did this until we lost contact. I hope he's better now, but this experience taught me the importance of not ignoring signs of anger as I grew older.

It is a serious red flag, so if you think being the only one that is able to calm him down is a good thing, think twice because one day, it will be more than you can handle and he will turn on you. It is even too much of an emotional burden which could lead to physical abuse.

Don't ignore the signs —be wise and protect yourself!

Reminder from Mo.